‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Except perhaps Mark as he got up to preen,
The most magnificent beard that you’ll ever have seen.
The rest of the Boosh staff lay snug in their beds,
While Mark doused some beard oil all over his head,
As he looked back on a year filled with fear, fright and ‘Rona,
And thought to himself, “No I shan’t be a moaner.”
For we started that year with a new staff member on
Who went by the name of “Big Bearded John”.
And so began the Boosh Beard Competition,
Between these two mystical signal magicians.
Three months along and no-one was crowned
Then the virus hit England and all did lock down.
We shut up the barn and we said our goodbyes,
We hung up our hard hats, though just for a while.
For a short time site surveys would have to be ceased
As we all went to war with the Coronavirus beast.
New needs of the working world grew quite acute
Because businesses needed to telecommute.
Now, Teams! Now, Collaborate! Now, Routing and Yammer!
On Cel-Fi! On, Flow! On, iBoosh and Planner!
We’ll work harder this year than ever before,
Dash away! Dash away! Dash away all the more!
For these are the platforms and apps that have served
To help firms just like yours to keep up with the curve.
And if you should like to work better from your homes
Just give us a call and we’ll send in our gnomes.
Or “elves” as we’d say if we were truly wise men,
But enough of No-el, let’s reminisce once again.
Some time during Lockdown, Sara was stunned
As Mark presented his new number one.
And not wanting to relinquish all sense of beard sport,
Mark and John turned their minds to a stay-at-home sort.
Who could create the best garden bar?
John’s Filamingos is surely the star.
For later that year we met here to jive
And celebrate the birthday of Boosh 365.
Eight years boosting signal and sorting out cell phones,
And we’ll keep being here to help you work from your homes.
And while skinheads and barbecues seem so long ago,
And we’ve all had to deal with the Lockdown Two blow,
With Ella on our team now, we’ll never fall short
In providing you fabulous client support.
Thanks to Gemma for showing our Ella the ropes,
And topping us up on our antibac soaps.
To Petra for putting our numbers together
And keeping us smiling whatever the weather.
Michelle who works wonders on our business bids
Energetic and eager and down with the kids.
And Sara who implements plans to a T
Without her, who knows where on earth we would be?
But back to Mark in his bathroom, still oiling his face,
Will he soon be returning to our barn workplace?
It’s clear that John’s beard has made his look pathetic,
But here comes another with greater aesthetic.
Much bigger and better and whiter is his,
The year’s nearly done and here’s old Father Chris.
It’s been a real stinker, but let’s not forget,
The chance of a new year to be your best year yet.
So we’ll crack out the bubbly and our dodgiest sweaters
And keep helping the world to communicate better
However you’re spending yours, may it be bright.
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!